In the hustle of campus flow, our emotions move as quickly as we do. Faculty and staff face challenges, opportunities, and frustrations that ignite our emotional centers, sometimes intensely. Whether it’s tension of a student conflict, stress of meeting a deadline, or the sting of a less than thoughtful comment or action, our emotions are constantly in motion and we feel the impulse to react immediately! What we know, though, is there is even more power in pausing, sitting with our emotions, and intentionally considering our response. When we give ourselves room to let our emotions naturally de-escalate, we save ourselves: 

1. A lot of energy

2. Clean-up after-the-fact

3. Maintenance of our integrity

You Will Feel My Wrath!!!

Let’s face it, our emotional reactions are lightning fast. They happen reflexively, prompted by interactions, context, and our lived experiences. Emotional reactions have purpose as they are part of our natural survival systems. On campus, where emotional and social complexity thrive, immediate responses, fueled by high emotions, only serves to complicate things. A sharp email response, a quick judgment, or an abrupt decision can lead to escalation, adding high-stress levels for everyone.

Acting on impulse, even in minor situations, creates ripple effects in work and relationships. This is important on campus, where our interactions impact not just our colleagues but also our students. When students and colleagues are in distress, they look to us to model ways to manage emotions and address challenges. When we mindfully handle our emotions, we offer the example we ideally desire to provide.

The Power of the Pause

Now, please don’t misunderstand. Pausing does not mean we ignore or suppress our emotions. Quite the opposite. We remind ourselves in the moment of options to pause and give ourselves time and space to observe, honor, and turn our powerful intellect onto our emotions for increased understanding. Emotions are the keepers of information about our needs, concerns, and values. When we sit with them, we listen and deliberately reflect more on next best steps.

The pause between stimulus and response is the chance to “manage how we feel” rather than “being managed by how we feel.”

Consider feeling frustrated after receiving that %$#* email from that colleague who you like only on rare occasion. We may act on our immediate reaction, write a hasty reply, or vent way too openly to a colleague. If we decide to pause and tolerate our feelings, our intellect slowly shows back up and gives us insight to respond more effectively. We may realize a criticism is valid and provides an opportunity for growth or we may decide that this is the last time this person can act this way and we need to clarify boundaries. With a pause, our response becomes more deliberate and effective.

Okay, Big Talk, But How Does One Actually Do This?

Like any skill, this takes practice and patience. Here are 6 practical steps:

1. Sit Still a Moment & Just Notice. Take advantage of opportunities for flexible scheduling. Whether it’s working from home one day a week, or setting boundaries around meetings and office hours, flexibility allows for more fluid integration of personal and professional lives.
2. Check Yo’ Self. Focus on the physical sensations that accompany emotions. Tension in our shoulders, racing heart, or butterflies signal underlying emotion. Recognizing these sensations helps us tune into what we are feeling before we react.
3. Breathe & Pause: Rinse & Repeat. Take a few breaths when emotions rise. Slow, intentional breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system (which is totes, your best friend ever), helping us calm. Even a few moments of breathing make a difference.
4. Gossip With Yourself to Explore Feelings. Consciously ask, what triggered this feeling? Is it tied to personal expectation or value? Does the situation bring back past experiences? Understanding the roots of our emotions helps us respond more directly and compassionately.
5. Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates. Consider different ways of responding. Which response reflects the person we want to be in the situation? Taking a moment to think before acting reveals options we may not have previously considered.
6. Know When to Fold ‘Em. Seek support when emotions are particularly intense and persistent. Talking with a colleague, counselor, or friend provides perspective, empathy, and insight. A fresh perspective clarifies feelings and helps us make grounded decisions.

Creating a Campus Culture of Mindfulness

Imagine a campus where, instead of reacting on impulse, we listen carefully to one another and approach each other with empathy and patience (Mind blown, right?) This does not mean there are no difficult conversations or intense emotions. It does mean we approach them with respect, understanding, and self-awareness.

This whole “embracing the pause and sitting with our emotions” thing does not happen overnight. It is a process of building self-awareness and trusting the benefits of mindfulness. Every step in this practice contributes to a healthier, more resilient, and connected campus environment. By pausing and reflecting, we model emotional intelligence and compassion for ourselves, for our colleagues, and our students.

Next time we feel waves of emotion, whether we like how it feels or not, give ourselves the gift of a pause. In doing so, we create space for clarity, patience, and intention!